And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
