Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Duck Duck Cougar?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
drinking out of a sandbucket again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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