Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
