Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
