just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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