If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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