I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
