I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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