you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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