You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
