I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
