i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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