Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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