An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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