I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
