i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Who died my cat blue again?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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