Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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