my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
