Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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