She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
