id be glad to
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
