we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
