I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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