grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
