the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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