apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
dude. I can hear the air.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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