On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
