Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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