Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
