ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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