Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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