I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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