just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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