I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
