1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
