my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
