they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
