I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
