i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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