best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Watching her eat just hurts me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
