I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
