I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Actions speak louder than pants.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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