I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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