i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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