I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
