Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
