I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
