going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
