bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
