I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Couch. On fire.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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